Moments
by Anorak Myth
Summary: Chapter 10: I feel you fading away... Kiba/Hige oneshots, UPDATED
1. Nightmares

Disclaimer: I do not own Wolf's Rain and am not making any profit from this writing.

This will be a compilation of Kiba/Hige oneshots, set throughout the series. This is one of my favorite pairings, so I wanted to dedicate a series of fics especially to them. Let me know what you think!

Summary: After being saved from the incinerator, Hige reflects, and relives his own terror. Set after Episode 6.

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><p><em>Trapped in metal bars, Hige is unable to escape. The humans laugh and jeer about the stray dog. The door opens, and he is thrown from the cage. He yelps as he hits the floor. Everything is dark. He hears a door slam shut. Then the world ignites.<em>

Hige bolted awake, panting heavily, and looking around frantically. He was unsure what he wanted. It had all been just a horrible dream, right?

Right. Suddenly, he vividly remembered Kiba prying the bars of the cage open with his teeth. He was safe. He needed Kiba though. The white wolf was always strong, always safe. Where was he? Tsume and Toboe were curled up together, but their alpha was nowhere to be found.

Had the others not been sleeping, Hige would have howled for him, pride be damned. He needed him. As it was, however, they were sleeping, and he did not want to risk waking them (especially Tsume). So he followed his infallible nose instead. He walked slowly through the trees, jumping at every noise and bump in the night.

He heaved a sigh of relief when he saw the white wolf, lying on a boulder, overlooking the area. Watching him, apparently.

"Can't sleep?" Kiba asked quietly, standing and hopping down.

"Kind of," Hige mumbled. His alpha looked at him critically.

"Anything I can do?" he asked, after a moment of silence. Hige swallowed.

"Sleep with me?" he pleaded. Kiba's yellow eyes softened.

"I can do that," he answered softly, "Do you want to go back with the others, or..." he trailed off.

"Stay here," Hige was not ready to go back to his other pack mates just yet. He wanted Kiba to himself. He wanted Kiba to comfort him. Kiba always made everything better.

"Whatever you want," the white wolf responded amiably. He led Hige under a large oak tree, and lay down. The tawny wolf lay next to him, curling into him slowly, hesitantly. He badly wanted to be close to Kiba, but he was still unsure as to where he stood with him. Kiba seemed to like him fine, but that did not necessarily mean he wanted to cuddle up to him.

Kiba seemed to have different ideas however, as he shifted closer to Hige and began licking his head, grooming him gently.

"I'm listening, you know," he said carefully, "If you want to talk about it."

"It was the incinerator," Hige mumbled, almost too quiet to hear, but Kiba caught it.

"You're alright," he assured him, "You're safe."

"Thanks to you," Hige said softly, leaning further into him.

"You could've gotten out of there," he answered simply, tilting his head to clean the tawny wolf's ear. Hige squirmed at first in surprise and discomfort, but quickly stopped once he realized what the white wolf was doing.

"No," he protested, "I was only kidding about the barbarian thing. I'm not like you, I'm not nearly that strong, and I don't have nerves of steel."

"I beat most wolves when it comes to brute strength," Kiba replied dismissively, before pausing, "You think I have nerves of steel?"

"Yeah," Huge answered, grunting as Kiba shifted to clean his other ear. Kiba snorted softly.

"Idiot. I don't."

"You do, though. You came to get me, even though you were already injured, and you got me out immediately."

Kiba gave his ear a final lick, apparently deciding they met his standards of cleanliness. Hige missed his gentle ministrations.

"Well, I'm glad you think so highly of me," Kiba said, clearly bemused, but sounding genuinely pleased. He began licking the tawny wolf's head again, and it was all Hige could do not to practically purr with all the attention he was getting. He was enveloped in Kiba's warmth, and despite their surroundings, he felt safer than he had in ages. He cuddled more closely into the white wolf, determined to take full advantage of the moment.

"I was terrified though," Kiba finally added, so softly that Hige almost missed it. Hige froze, and pulled away to look at him.

"You were?" he asked, amazed. Kiba refused to look him in the eye, seeming anxious.

"Kiba? Why were you scared?" Hige asked patiently, though internally, he wondered if Kiba could hear his heart racing. The white wolf swallowed.

"I didn't want to lose you," he whispered. Hige stared at him for a long moment, before nuzzling him gently. Kiba stiffened.

"I wouldn't leave you," Hige teased, "I'm the life of the party! What would you do without me?"

Kiba was quiet, apparently unsure how to take that response. Hige always forgot the white wolf's stunted sense of humor.

"Seriously," he swallowed, "You're stuck with me. Forever."

Kiba leaned back into him at that.

"Good," he whispered, "I'm glad."

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><p>Thoughts? Was it too out-of-character? I'm working with the assumption that Hige is somewhat traumatized, which I think excuses some OOC-ness on his part, but I don't want Kiba to be OOC. I haven't watched Wolf's Rain in quite a few months, so if I've gotten some things wrong, please let me know. I love constructive criticism!<p> 


	2. Pyrophobia

Disclaimer: I do not own Wolf's Rain and am not making any profit from this writing.

It's normal to be wary of fire and it's normal to be a little shaken after a brush with death, but Kiba's reaction borders on extreme.

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><p>The building is burning. Vandals, Tsume says. Arsonists, bent on destroying. Hige doesn't care. What caused the fire doesn't matter to him.<p>

He only cares about the fact that, right now, his alpha is standing stock-still, staring at the flames. Frozen. Hige wouldn't have minded so much if they were _outside_ the building, but since they are still _inside_, he minds quite a lot. They are either going to burn, or the building is going to come down on top of them – in which case they will still burn, but hopefully they will die before that point. Hige isn't holding out much hope for smoke inhalation, not with the way the flames are spreading.

Of course, he greatly prefers _not_ dying, and he is pretty sure that Kiba prefers that as well. Even if he doesn't, Hige will not leave him here.

"Kiba!" he shouts, grabbing his wrist, "We have to leave!"

Tsume is already running out, tugging Toboe along behind him. The pup looks back over his shoulder at the pair, watching them with wide, frightened eyes. Hige takes little notice of him, yanking hard on Kiba's wrist, trying to drag him forward. He still won't budge.

Hige hears an ominous crack overhead, and stills. He looks up, very slowly, afraid of what he might see there. The flames are spreading fast, and the beam above them is ready to break.

"Oh, hell," he whispers.

_Snap!_

Hige dives, successfully knocking the other wolf down. He rolls them out of the way of the burning, falling wood, and winces as he hears the telltale thud. The flames will devour the building even faster now.

"Kiba," he pleads, "We can't stay here. We'll die."

Something almost like recognition flashes in his blue eyes. Hige stands as quickly as he can, a little unsteadily, and grabs Kiba's arm, managing to haul him upright. He is briefly thankful for that small miracle, but it will not make any difference if Kiba will not _move_. Hige has no time to waste testing whether he can carry the other wolf.

"Do you _want_ to burn?" he hisses, and he knows it's cruel, but his alpha's _feelings_ come second to his _life_. Something changes in Kiba at his words.

He shudders, and Hige yanks again, sharply. Kiba finally stumbles forward, and allows himself to be half-dragged from the building.

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><p>Kiba is unresponsive for hours. Hige had thought they would be leaving that day, since the building they had been staying in had burned down, but Kiba has given no sign that he will be ready to depart anytime soon. Tsume and Hige have already gone out looking for food, leaving Kiba with Toboe in the meantime. That the pair is able to get along for longer than an hour is testament to the pack's disquiet.<p>

It feels strange to do something with Tsume without the other wolf snapping at him or making snide comments, and stranger still to be alone with Tsume. Kiba doesn't usually trust them to be alone together, and that's probably justified. That the pair leaves without his intervention further evidences the white wolf's unusual state of mind. Hige had hoped that by the time they returned, Kiba would have snapped out of it. Of course, things rarely work so nicely in his favor.

When the two older wolves return, Kiba is sitting perfectly still, a good twenty feet or so from Toboe. For his part, the puppy is eyeing the dark-haired boy anxiously. He bounces up when he sees them, rushing to Tsume's side. The grey wolf growls lightly, but makes no comment.

"Tsume. Kiba's been really quiet, I'm worried," Toboe whispers. Hige rolls his eyes, knowing that his efforts at subtlety are useless in a pack of wolves. If Kiba had been paying any attention whatsoever, he would have heard him.

Before replying, Tsume raises an eyebrow at Hige and pointedly looks at Kiba. Hige nods, and Tsume turns, taking the puppy by the arm.

"Huh? Where are we going? Kiba –" Toboe begins, obviously startled, as Tsume leads him away.

"Quiet," the older wolf cuts him off. Hige waits until they're out of sight, listening to the hushed voice of Tsume and the responding whine from Toboe. When they're finally gone, he turns back to Kiba. Grimacing, he approaches the dark-haired boy and crouches, lightly setting a hand on his shoulder. Kiba does not respond, and Hige sighs.

"Kiba? Anyone home?" he asks tiredly. No response. He shifts so that he is directly in front of him, blocking his view of anything else, and places both hands on his shoulders. Kiba stares blankly. It is as though he isn't seeing him, he is looking right through him.

So he shakes him. Hard. He regrets it when Kiba's neck snaps backwards, and the white wolf grits his teeth, obviously startled. Hige lets up a bit, not wanting to hurt him, but continues to shake him lightly.

Kiba's eyes finally come into focus, and he shoves him off, turning away. Hige lets him, falling backwards to sit cross-legged. After a moment, Kiba speaks.

"What is it?" he asks. Hige knows it is supposed to sound dignified, but his voice is a little too hoarse, his tone a little too measured, and he's avoiding his eyes. Hige can see through his act.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asks, as gently as he can. Kiba stiffens.

"No," he snaps. Hige raises an eyebrow. Truth be told, he doesn't want to push things with the white wolf. The last thing he wants is to make him angry, and he knows that just one wrong move on his part could tip the scales and _seriously_ piss him off. Kiba hates being coddled, hates having his abilities questioned. So Hige briefly debates throwing in the towel, but decides against it. He can't just leave him like this.

_Finish what you started_, he tells himself. So he moves to sit behind Kiba, and slowly wraps his arms around him, hugging him from behind. Not tightly, because he doesn't want to startle or panic him. Kiba is silent, sitting ramrod straight and completely still, obviously unsure of how to respond. His rising anxiety is practically tangible.

Hige hums lightly, hoping to calm him. It works, at least somewhat, because the other wolf suddenly isn't holding himself as stiffly.

"What brought this on?" Kiba finally asks, his voice hardly more than a whisper. Seeing that he isn't about to pull away, Hige tightens his grip, forcing the white wolf to lean backwards, into him. He hears Kiba's breath catch.

"You're upset," Hige answers gently, "Did the fire scare you?"

From his position, he can't see the white wolf's face, but he doesn't need to see to know that Kiba is scowling.

"No," he says firmly. Hige thinks about that for a moment. He could just leave. Kiba clearly doesn't want his help. Or he could stay. Kiba needs someone to draw him out, and Cheza isn't here. (Besides, what could she do? Kiba doesn't talk to her like he does them. Hige takes comfort in this small advantage he has over her. Not that Hige dislikes her any, but he's jealous, dammit.)

So he leans to the side, and drops to the ground, pulling the unresisting white wolf down with him. Kiba gives an exasperated sigh, which Hige takes as permission to continue. With one hand, he keeps Kiba close to him and with the other, he gently rubs circles on his back. Kiba stiffens again, a little surprised, but relaxes after a moment.

_I keep forgetting that he's still not used to human ways,_ Hige thinks.

"It's okay to be scared, Kiba," he says softly. Kiba neglects to respond, and they lie in companionable silence.

"My pack," Kiba finally begins, very slowly, "Before. They were all killed in a wildfire."

Hige winces, but stays quiet, waiting in case Kiba has anything further to say.

"I hate fire," he admits, almost under his breath. Hige hears, and understands that by "hate," he means "fear."

"How old were you?" he asks, swallowing. He's not really sure what to say. Comforting others has never really been his forte. At least he doesn't have to worry about tears, not with Kiba.

"Around ten weeks," Kiba answers softly. Hige sucks in a surprised breath.

"That's rough." He should have guessed that Kiba's insecurities and somewhat underdeveloped social skills stemmed from some horribly tragic past.

"Mm." It's not really agreement, more like acknowledgement that he heard him.

"What then? Don't tell me you survived on your own." Hige really, really hopes that is not the case. He cannot stand the thought of Kiba wandering alone in the wilderness at that age.

"No. I," Kiba hesitated, "Can we just skip it? I don't want to talk about it."

"Sure," he makes a mental note to bring that up another time, "Tell me more about the fire."

"There's not much to tell. They burned," he answers. Hige almost cringes at the dull quality of his tone.

"How?" he asks, gently. Kiba rolls over, and Hige thinks that he's going to glare at him, but he doesn't. In fact, he does not look at him at all, and for a moment, the tawny wolf isn't sure why he turned. His face is conflicted, and his eyes are focused at a point just beyond Hige's shoulder. Going by instinct, Hige moves one hand to the back of his head, and pulls him closer.

He doesn't need any further invitation. Kiba presses his face into Hige's sweatshirt, hiding his expression. Hige lets him, well aware of how sensitive this is. It is a pure miracle that the other wolf trusts him enough to talk about it at all.

"I don't know how it started," he begins slowly, his voice a little muffled by the shirt.

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><p>"Do you remember your pack from before the fire?" Hige asks. He's planning to tell him that it's important to remember the good times, not the bad. That he should remember them as they were before they died, not while they died.<p>

Kiba hesitates.

"Not much," he answers, "But…I have you now."

Hige's heart stops as Kiba slowly pulls away, finally looking up at him. His blue eyes are brilliant and earnest as he waits for his reaction. Then he blushes, and Hige feels his heart start again, racing now. He smiles.

"Yeah," he whispers, "You'll always have me."

Kiba's eyes widen a fraction, obviously not expecting that response. He searches the other wolf's crimson eyes for something. Whatever he is looking for, he must find it, because he leans forward and lightly presses his lips to Hige's.

Hige freezes. He's dreaming. He has to be. It's the only explanation. This can't be happening, because Kiba doesn't feel the same way about him, Kiba loves Cheza, and...Kiba is pulling away. Why is he pulling away?

Kiba is watching him nervously, his face turning cherry red. Hige takes in a deep breath, slowly reaching forward and running gossamer fingers along his skin, cupping his face in one hand. Kiba's eyes never leave his. Hige pulls him forward, crashing their lips back together.

At some point, he has to pull away for air, albeit reluctantly. He rests his forehead against the white wolf's, smiling.

"So are you still upset?" he breathes.

"No. I'm okay now."

And, staring into Hige's dancing red eyes, he is. Just for now, the fire, Cheza, and his search all fall away. It's just Kiba and Hige, together, in their own concrete paradise. The moment is eventually broken when Hige's stomach growls suddenly.

"Wanna eat, then?"

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><p>Thoughts? I decided after writing this whole chapter that, hey, ONE sentence would sound better in present tense. So I went through the whole thing and changed everything from past tense (which is generally my preferred format) to present tense. Did it work? I usually don't like writing present tense, so I'm not sure it came out sounding…normal.<p>

And I actually did write out Kiba's story about the fire. I cut it, because it was way too long (almost 1,000 words, mostly dialogue), but I have it saved. I'd be happy to post it separately from this story, if anyone is interested. Just shoot me a message, or review.

There's a poll on my profile, and I would be super grateful if you would vote. The question is "Which Wolf's Rain romantic pairing do you read most often / would you be most likely to read?" I am, of course, going to continue this fic regardless of the results, but the results will definitely affect what other fics I write/post. Consider it requesting pairings to be written, if you will. :)

Ah, and reviews (I allow anonymous) motivate me to update faster. They also help me edit and make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. (By the way, thank you Fangsire! I'm glad you liked it.)

If anyone has a request/idea for a future chapter, let me know and I'll do my best to write it.

Edit: For those interested, Kiba's narration of the fire has been posted in a separate oneshot, _Fire_.


	3. At First Sight

I'm really sorry this took so long.

Disclaimer: I do not own Wolf's Rain and am not making any profit from this writing.

Prompt: _I saw him and I just stopped. Everything stopped._

Kiba and Hige's first meeting. Set during Episode 1.

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><p>It was pure curiosity that led Hige to the basement of the police station that night. He had come to the city lured by the scent of lunar flowers, but he had always avoided the police station. Why go near it? If law enforcement had any idea what he was, they would shoot him on sight.<p>

When he smelled another wolf – a _wild_ wolf, from outside the city – he decided to brave the station. The scent of blood that came with it gave him only momentary pause. He was bored out of his mind anyway, he reasoned, so would it really be such a tragedy if he was killed? It was worth the risk, to find something interesting.

He would not be disappointed.

He quickly found the basement door, and slipped inside. The first thing he noticed was the smell. It got less bearable as he approached the cages. He guessed that he was smelling every animal, not to mention human, that had ever passed through the basement. He smelled too many species to think about – why did the humans insist on keeping "exotic" pets? They smelled awful!

He covered his nose, not that it helped much, and walked down the rows. Most of the basement was apparently used for storage. There were really only a few cages here and there, although they obviously got regular use. A cat hissed at him from one.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, "Shut up."

Near the back, he finally saw something large and white in one of the cages. He strode up to it, grinning at his success, and froze.

It was a pure white wolf, seemingly asleep on the cage floor. The floor was smeared with his blood. Perhaps it was morbid curiosity that drew him to the other wolf. Perhaps it was something else. Whatever the reason, Hige was fascinated, and he slowly crouched in front of him.

"Man, you really screwed up," he said. He almost laughed, "I mean, I've seen one of us get caught before, but never this badly."

Was that a rude introduction, he wondered? It was, now that he thought about it. Well, it wasn't as if the other wolf was listening, right?

Except that he was. He slowly opened his yellow eyes, though he made no move to get up.

"I can get out of here whenever I feel like it," he answered, a little defensively. Hige smiled. This could be very amusing.

"Aha," he said lightly, in a tone that said he didn't believe him, "So then why are you in there?"

Hige bantered with him for a few minutes. He was strange, but Hige could appreciate that. Strange was unique, and unique was interesting. He didn't react when Hige actually introduced himself. He didn't give his name, but Hige didn't specifically ask for it, so maybe it just didn't occur to him.

The white wolf seemed a little annoyed by his presence, but he was fun to talk to anyway. Hige liked him from the moment he opened his mouth.

"You're living a lie, just so you can die a miserable death in this city?" he questioned, growling. It was the first sign of _life_ from him, so Hige wasn't as offended as he might have been otherwise.

"Gotta do what you can to survive, right? Keep looking like that, you'll be back here in no time. It draws too much attention," he answered, smiling a little. That was apparently a mistake, because it clearly pissed the white wolf off. He finally rose to his feet, his growl increasing in volume.

_He's an alpha,_ Hige noted. It took a moment before that really registered. When it did, the realization was followed immediately by a strong desire to follow the other wolf. Instinctually, he wanted to be part of a pack.

"Have you given up your pride as a wolf?" the alpha demanded, pulling him back out of his head.

"Hmm?" he drew back a bit in surprise, before relaxing and smiling again, "You're a strange one alright. But having pride doesn't count for much if you're dead. Ya know?"

The white wolf just stared at him, gaping. He looked positively floored by that. Hige couldn't help but feel pleased. It wasn't often that he came up with these inspirational sayings!

An alarm went off then, startling them both. The white wolf snarled, biting at the bars.

_Dude, that's not going to work_, Hige thought. Nonetheless, he stood and, not wanting to get bitten, stepped away. It was a good thing he did, too, because the bars quickly gave way under the pressure. The white wolf was out of the cage in no time at all.

"Huh. Impressive," the white wolf glared at him, "What's wrong? Just think about it. It's easy."

He kept glaring at him. Hige waited a moment. Nope, still a wolf.

"Picture it?" he suggested, "I swear, it's not complicated."

The yellow eyes closed. For a moment, Hige almost thought he had had it and was simply going to snap at him, but the wolf seemed to flicker, then disappear. He was replaced by a human teenager. His hair was dark brown, artfully tussled. It framed his face, which gave Hige a new reference for that clichéd saying, "sculpted by angels."

He opened his eyes, and Hige forgot to breathe. They were _blue_, like the ocean, or a stormy sky. Except that that wasn't fair, because neither of those things could truly compare to this wolf's eyes.

"This feels weird," he commented, almost absently. His voice drew Hige back to the moment. Right, he needed to stop staring at him and focus on other things – for instance, getting out of the police station alive.

"Yeah?" Hige asked, smiling, "You'll get used to it."

The other wolf looked a little doubtful, but he seemed to accept it. He followed Hige out, limping heavily. The soldiers running out to respond to the alarm paid little attention to them, and they left the building easily enough.

Once they were outside the compound, Hige gave a sigh of relief. He had been afraid the other wolf would lose focus and drop his illusion. He had to admit, he was a little impressed. It never even flickered.

"Sir! That big dog! It disappeared!" he heard someone shout behind them.

_Whoops. Sorry about that_, he smirked a little to himself.

"What?" another man demanded, shocked.

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><p>Hige sat on a ledge on the rooftop. The white wolf, currently a dark-haired boy, was stretched out on the very edge of the roof, staring up at the cloudy night sky.<p>

_He obviously isn't afraid of heights,_ Hige thought. There were at least a good twenty stories up. If he fell, he would surely break something, but he dangled his legs off the roof, seeming completely unconcerned with that possibility.

"My nose can tell when a dog's takin' a dump ten kilometers away," Hige bragged. The other wolf turned to look at him.

"Yeah? That must really stink."

_Wow. He has a sense of humor?_ He thought, relieved. The white wolf was so serious, he had been a bit worried. He laughed a little.

"Sure does," he said, grinning. He turned to look at the other wolf again, and he froze, with a gasp.

He was smiling. Just a tiny, tiny bit, but he was definitely smiling. His lips were turned up just slightly, and his blue eyes were warm.

Hige could stare at his face forever. He wanted to see that face again, every day. That face was what made him decide he _needed _to follow the other wolf. _This_ was his alpha. He would follow him to Hell and back.

Hige gaped at him, while all this ran through his head (1). Then, realizing he probably looked like an idiot, he grinned brightly, his eyes actually squeezing shut with the force of his smile. When he opened them, the other wolf was looking at the sky again.

"So why did you escape with me?" he asked.

"Uh, I don't know," Hige drawled, not expecting that question, "I just felt like it, I guess. Besides, you seem kind of interesting."

The other wolf didn't respond to that.

"So, what's next?" Hige asked, "Where're ya headed?"

He would make up an excuse to follow him. Wherever he was going.

"To Paradise."

_Wait, what?_ He couldn't possibly be serious. That was ridiculous. No one actually believed those stories, did they? Hige looked at him again.

_Oh, hell,_ he thought. He _was_ serious. He was _crazy_. Cuckoo. Wacko. Nutso. Absolutely…

"There isn't any moonlight in this place." Okay, the guy was _cracked in the head_, but Hige had to admit, he _did _have a point there. Besides, hadn't he already decided to follow him, no matter where he went?

"Paradise, huh? That sounds like fun."

"My name is," he paused, "Kiba."

The little voice in his head, which his mother had always claimed was his "common sense," told him this was a bad, bad idea.

_Fang! Even his _name _sounds dangerous!_ The voice yelled. Hige ignored it. He would much rather listen to Kiba than to common sense.

After all, his mother had said something else, hadn't she?

_Love is blind._

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><p>(1) Okay, so I realize that, rewatching this episode, I was looking for hints of this pairing. But holy crap. Serious yaoi moment. I ain't kidding. Watch the episode again, you'll see it! O_O Kiba smiles (smiles!). Hige gasps, and totally just gapes at him. For a full THREE seconds. You cannot deny the yaoi! …Excuse me, I'm having a fangirl moment.<p>

It won't take 2 months for the next chapter, I promise. And I really appreciate all of the reviews, favorites, and story alerts!


	4. Betrayal

Disclaimer: I do not own Wolf's Rain and am not making any profit from this writing.

Major SPOILERS. Set sometime between Episode 26 (Moonlight Crucible) and 28 (Gunshot of Remorse). I guess this is a good time to mention that these oneshots will not, in any way, go in any kind of order. Sorry, but that would restrict my creative impulses, and you wouldn't want that! :)

Prompt: _I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how. I've never heard silence quite this loud. (Taylor Swift – Story of Us)_

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><p>Chapter 4 – Betrayal<p>

Hige could see it in their eyes. Hate, disgust, anger. He didn't blame them, not one bit. How could he? If the situation were reversed, wouldn't he hate them too?

He betrayed them. Kiba said it didn't matter, but it did. It mattered so much. Kiba was trying to be nice, he probably thought he was helping, but Kiba didn't realize he was only making things worse.

Hige hated that Kiba lied to him. It wasn't just because Kiba didn't think he could handle the truth, it was because Kiba lied about what was so blatantly obvious. As if he thought that would fix things.

He said he wasn't angry. He said he didn't blame him. He said he still cared.

He was lying through his teeth, but it was so hard to accept that. Hige wanted so badly to believe him, and he nearly did, sometimes. When Kiba spoke, with his honey-sweet voice and that angel smile, Hige could almost believe him. But then Kiba would turn away, and the moment he thought Hige was no longer watching, _the look_ was back.

_The look_ showed how upset he really was. He was grieving over Cheza, he couldn't bear to lose her. He was angry that Hige had betrayed them all. His anger and grief created the torn expression on his face. There was an echoing sense of loss surrounding the white wolf. And Hige didn't know how to fix it, because for the first time, he had truly _hurt _his alpha.

He wanted Kiba to hate him. He needed the proof: the solid, concrete evidence that the white wolf wanted him gone, that his absence would help. He would leave, if he had that proof. He would bare his throat and wait for Kiba, or even Tsume, to kill him. He just wanted Kiba to smile again – really smile, not the façade he put up when he wanted to convince them.

That was the problem, though. Hige was proud of his ability to read others, but he found it nearly impossible to read Kiba now. When they first met, Kiba had been difficult because he was so closed-off, but they had gotten past that. It had gotten so that Hige could tell what he wanted, because his alpha had let him. Now, Kiba's walls were back up, blocking Hige out. He didn't know what he wanted.

One moment Kiba seemed almost clingy, dropping back to run alongside the stocky wolf during the day, or curling up close to him at night. The next, he was distant, running far ahead, or sleeping on rocky overhangs above them all, where he could easily view the entire pack. He was inexplicably estranged from the other wolves. Whenever possible, he avoided Tsume and skirted around Toboe.

Whenever anything came up in conversation, he gave the same answer.

"Nothing has changed," he said. Hige knew he was lying. He couldn't bear his lies anymore.

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><p>It was during one of Kiba's distant nights that Hige decided to confront him. He didn't think it would be fair to approach him on one of his clingy nights. He desperately wanted to be close to the white wolf again, but he didn't want to take advantage of any emotional dependence his alpha had developed.<p>

He didn't say anything as he approached the other wolf. He just sat down next to him, staring out at the snowy landscape before them. Out of the corner of his eye, he observed the dark-haired boy.

Kiba hadn't moved, even to look at him. His arms were wrapped around his legs, his chin resting on his knees. He looked stiff, tense, and unhappy. He didn't react to Hige's presence, except to hunch over further, an outward expression of vulnerability that Hige really didn't think was a good sign.

"Hey," he whispered. Kiba hugged his legs tighter. He was silent for some time, possibly hoping that Hige would give up and leave him be.

"What is it?" he finally asked, his voice strangely hoarse. Hige swallowed.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"You're not going to ask what I'm sorry for?" Hige asked, smiling bitterly. He heard the other wolf take in a deep, shuddery breath.

"I don't blame you, Hige," he answered. His voice was gentle, slipping back into the mask he wore during the day. He wasn't fully prepared to don the mask though, Hige noted, as he still hugged his legs, as if to steady himself. For a moment, he could almost hear his thoughts.

_I'm not angry. I'm _not.

Why was he so intent on denying it? Why did he insist on forgiveness, even when it was so obviously painful for him?

"You should," Hige said softly, "You're a fool if you don't."

"Hige," he whispered, "I _won't_ blame you. I _can't._"

"Why not?" he questioned, adding dully, "It'll make you feel better."

Kiba made an odd noise. It was almost like a laugh, but it was packed with so much _pain_. It warped it and made it something that was at once both mournful and frightening.

"You want to know _why?_" he whispered.

"Yeah. That's what I asked, isn't it?" Hige muttered.

"I never really felt like I belonged anywhere. Then I met you," Kiba whispered, slowly, "And it felt right. I felt complete."

_Oh, Kiba, what have I done to you? _Hige thought regretfully.

"You were the first wolf I trusted," he continued, "You mean more to me than anyone else. So I _can't_ blame you."

"Because you have shitty coping skills?" he suggested. Although not intended to be unkind, his words hung in the air with a harsh ring of truth. He saw the other wolf grimace, and wished he had kept his mouth shut. Now was not the time to try making light of the situation.

"Yeah. Something like that," Kiba muttered.

Hige hesitated, fishing for words. There had to be something he could do, had to be something he could say to fix this. Kiba was silent, not seeming to really expect another response.

"The humans have a saying," Hige finally replied, quietly, "We always hurt the ones we love."

He heard a sharp intake of breath from the white wolf.

"I guess they're right about that," he continued slowly, in the same soft tone, "Because I never wanted to hurt you. And I know I did anyway, so maybe it doesn't make a difference. But for what it's worth, I really do love you."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kiba finally look away from the snowy landscape, blue eyes on him instead. Hige slowly turned to meet his gaze seriously.

"I screwed up, and you have every right to be pissed. But I promise, I'll never hurt you again. Can you forgive me?"

Kiba uncurled from his position, watching him closely. Hige forced himself not to look away under the other wolf's scrutinizing stare. Finally, he must have found the answer he was searching for in his red eyes, as he briefly closed his own blue ones with an odd, painful smile. He closed the distance between them, burying his face in Hige's neck.

"Don't ask stupid questions," he breathed.

Hige wrapped his arms around him instinctively, but it was a moment before the meaning of his words registered. When they did, he smirked broadly.

"So does that mean you love me too?" he teased.

"Stupid question," Kiba answered, but he could feel his laugh against his skin, and he heard the smile in his voice.

"Kiba?" he said softly. The white wolf pulled away just slightly, turning his head to the side to look at him.

"What?" he asked. Hige just grinned, because he _swore_ that his smile, the _real_ smile he saw in Kiba's face, eclipsed the sun and the moon. Kiba must have realized what he was so pleased about, because he blushed faintly and hid his face again, the ghost of his laugh echoing in the air around them.

* * *

><p>I disregarded Blue. For the line about Kiba's estrangement from Tsume and Toboe, you can assume she is present but not mentioned because Kiba was <em>always<em> estranged from her (their relationship is strained at best), or you can assume she's just not here. In my lala land timeline of yaoi moments, she's only a blip on the screen. ...In all seriousness, I love Blue, she's an awesome character. I just feel that if she was included here, her presence would only detract from this story.

_Anyway_, thoughts? Hope you all liked it! Jus as a heads up (I know I'm bouncing around a lot here), the next chapter will probably be set earlier in the series. I haven't decided which oneshot will be coming next, I have several written, so it'll be whichever one is ready for the final edit. Not to worry, it'll be coming soon. :)


	5. Find You Again

Sorry for the wait. Finals and moving home kept me busy. I still haven't unpacked half of my stuff. -sweatdrop-

Disclaimer: I do not own Wolf's Rain and am not making any profit from this writing.

Set during/after Episode 20 (the Garden of Eternity). SPOILERS if you don't know who Myu is.

If you haven't seen Episode 20 and are reading this anyway - how to explain this. Well, Kiba's spirit was taken to a sort of fake paradise, while his body wasted away under a poisonous plant (don't ask me how he got under said plant, it's never explained). By the time the pack finds him, he's basically dead. After recovering somewhat, he tells them about fake paradise (including these words: "I met a nice girl"). They have a cute bonding moment, and then they start running again. So here's all the Kiba/Hige love missing from that episode, because it demanded to be written. :)

* * *

><p>Chapter 5 - Find You Again<p>

Hige froze when he finally saw Kiba. He was so thin. Was he even breathing? Toboe said something, but he wasn't listening. He was entirely focused on the ragged form sprawled inside the plant.

"He's not dead!" Tsume said furiously, snapping him out of his trance.

"Maybe not yet, but if we don't pull him out of there, he's gonna –"

He stopped as Eke stepped forward. He found himself extremely grateful for the human as he grabbed Kiba, pulling him away from the poisonous plant and lying him on the back of his horse.

"Your friend's spirit has been taken. I'm sure the elder can call it back."

_Kiba. Please don't go._

Hige hated this mumbo jumbo, he decided as they watched the old man (_elder,_ his mind supplied, but he ignored it) chant. He just wanted Kiba to wake up. And he wasn't sure how that was possible, because he looked like death itself, but he _had_ to wake up. Kiba couldn't be gone.

His eyes finally opened, although just barely. They all stared. Hige felt his heart skip a beat, because he was looking at him. He wanted to hug him tightly, and never let go. But the look in those eyes stopped him. They were almost…empty. Devoid of any emotion.

Maybe he was just disoriented. Hige desperately hoped that that was all it was.

"Kiba," Toboe spoke first, leaning forward.

"Remember us?" Hige asked urgently.

"Kiba," the puppy said again, and Hige was mildly distracted by the scent of salt and impending tears, "Kiba!"

He was such a puppy. Then again, Hige felt like he might cry himself if Kiba didn't say something soon.

"Hey guys," he breathed, "Long time no see."

His eyes had changed. He looked tired, so tired, but not soulless. His eyes were focusing on Hige, and he could see recognition in them. He sighed in relief. Then, because he had to say something, and he couldn't get emotional now, in front of the other wolves and this stranger, he frowned.

"I suppose you think that's _funny,_ huh?"

"You scared us half to death! Where've you been?" Toboe demanded.

"Someplace peaceful," his voice was hardly more than a whisper, "It was almost like Paradise."

Hige blinked rapidly. Paradise?

"But…it wasn't, right?" Tsume asked the question they were all thinking.

"No. They kicked me out," Kiba said softly, and then his eyes closed. Hige was horrified. They all gasped, because was he going to die now?

"Do not worry," the elder spoke up, "Your friend has returned to you."

Hige had never been more grateful to a human.

* * *

><p>"So…you met a girl," Hige jumped right to the point. Kiba's head shot up so quickly that he wondered if his brain would splat.<p>

"Myu," he said quietly, after a moment.

"What?"

"Her name was Myu," he clarified.

"Does this mean you'll tell me everything?" Hige asked. Kiba frowned.

"What do you want to know?"

"What happened, of course," he tried to smile, but it fell flat.

_Was she pretty? Did you like her? Did you want to stay with her? Would you rather she was here with you now? Why did you come back? Was it just because of Paradise? Was it just because of Cheza?_

"Nothing happened, Hige," Kiba said softly, "I talked to her a lot. It was peaceful there. Does that answer your question?"

"No."

"Just tell me. Whatever it is."

Hige could tell the white wolf was getting frustrated by the edge in his voice, but still he hesitated, absently drawing circles in the sand with his fingers. Kiba watched him, his blue eyes softening as he took in his nervous look.

"Hige?" he murmured, "What's wrong?"

"I…It's not like I'm jealous, okay? 'Cause I'm not. But –" he stopped. Kiba was laughing. For the second time in one night, he was actually laughing. Hige didn't stop him, because as insulted as he was, he liked hearing Kiba's laugh. And, anyway, he was usually so stoic, why should he protest?

Fortunately for Hige's self-esteem, though, he stopped quickly.

"Sorry. Myu was nice, but we weren't even the same species."

Hige stared at him.

"I think she was some kind of cat," he clarified.

"She was a _cat?_" Hige asked, disbelieving. Kiba nodded slightly, still smiling.

"I can't believe I was jealous of a _cat,_" he muttered to himself.

"I thought you weren't jealous?" the white wolf teased. Hige might have blushed, if he were a little more easily embarrassed. As it was, he just turned away with a pout.

"I was not."

Kiba was silent for a moment. Hige looked at him out of the corner of his eye. His smile had softened from one of amusement to…something else. It was almost fond. Hige recognized it as the rare smile he wore when no one else was watching. It was faint, but the soft warmth in it gave him an almost angelic look.

"It wouldn't have mattered if she was a wolf," he finally said.

Hige turned toward him again. He was suddenly staring at the ground.

"I meant what I said. I missed you," he whispered. Hige scooted in front of him, grabbing his chin. He stiffened immediately, but relaxed when his eyes found Hige's.

"What?" he breathed.

"I missed you too. I was really worried. Toboe thought maybe you had died," he paused, "And you _still_ look like you rang death's doorbell and ran, by the way."

Kiba's mouth twitched, like he wasn't sure whether to be amused or offended.

_Note to self: 'you look like death' is not a good pickup line._

"Go to sleep."

He blinked, obviously not expecting that.

"I mean it, you look awful. I don't buy your 'I'm fine' crap. We should have stayed there another night, you really need to rest and –"

He shut up. Later, he might be annoyed that Kiba had done this just to shut him up, but at the moment he couldn't care less _why_ Kiba was doing it.

Because Kiba was kissing him, and while his inexperience showed, he really wasn't a bad kisser. And this was what he'd wanted all along, so he certainly wasn't going to complain.

Kiba finally pulled away, blushing deep red. He abruptly dropped his human illusion and curled against Hige's side.

"Kiba?" Hige whispered. The white wolf didn't answer, his eyes lowered in embarrassment. Hige hesitantly tangled his fingers in the soft fur of his scruff, thinking hard.

Had that meant what he thought it had?

His alpha shifted under his hand, pressing closer. That was the only confirmation he needed. He leaned over, pressing his face against the white fur.

"Kiba?" the other wolf flicked his ear, letting him know he had heard, "This is gonna sound silly, but…I love you."

Kiba turned his head, finally looking him in the eye. He licked his face.

"I think I love you too."

* * *

><p>Okay, so I know it was pretty short, but hey, they kissed! :D Hopefully that makes up for the shortness, if not the wait. Next chapter is pretty much done, I just want to edit it once I've slept, haha. Expect an update within 48 hours. Please review! And vote for your favorite pairing (poll on my profile) if you haven't already - it's summer! Which means I have time to edit stuff and post those stories (and write new ones, maybe).<p> 


	6. Holes

Disclaimer: I do not own Wolf's Rain and am not making any profit from this writing.

I had fun writing about Kiba's backstory in Chapter 2, so I wrote about Hige's backstory for this one! I kept it very vague, plus it's not totally canon, so there shouldn't be any spoilers.

This is set before the events of Chapter 5.

_Italics_ are thoughts and unspoken words, **bold** are memories.

* * *

><p>Chapter 6 - Holes<p>

"I feel sick," Toboe mumbled. Hige was pretty sure he hadn't meant to say it out loud, but he was glad he had. He didn't know what Kiba's reaction would be if the puppy suddenly threw up – or, worse, collapsed.

"Don't puke," Tsume muttered, grabbing the smaller wolf by the arm. Toboe nearly fell over as the grey wolf pulled him back, leaning into Tsume for balance.

Kiba, walking ahead of them, hadn't been following his pack's fleeting conversations before, but Tsume's words caught his attention. He paused, turning around to look at Hige.

"He's sick," the stocky wolf answered the unspoken question quietly, so the puppy wouldn't hear. He didn't smell right to Hige's keen nose, and he hadn't for almost two days, but Toboe had been so determined to keep up with the older wolves that Hige hadn't had the heart to call him out on it.

For a moment, Kiba looked extremely annoyed. Then he closed his eyes, and it was like his face had been wiped clean of emotion. When he opened them again, Hige was sure that he was the only one who could see his annoyance. It was masked by concern. It wasn't totally fake – Hige knew that he cared about the puppy, though he didn't often show it – but it wasn't _sincere._ He didn't want to stop, he hated being delayed.

Nonetheless, Hige was proud of him when he spoke.

"We'll stop soon, Toboe," he said. His voice was firm, and yet it was almost gentle. Tsume snarled, obviously thinking that they needed to stop _now_, but unwilling to voice it and show that he cared so much.

"We can't stay here," Hige explained for his alpha, "It's not safe."

They all looked at the puppy. His face was flushed, and he was still leaning against Tsume.

"I'm okay," he assured them, his voice shaky, "I can walk."

Hige watched Kiba's expression morph from I'm-sorry-but-I-have-other-things-on-my-mind to genuine concern. Tsume could carry him, but it was extremely worrisome that he was suddenly so weak. It might not be wise to move him. Kiba looked at Hige, a frown pulling at his lips. Hige sighed.

"You should go on ahead," he suggested, "We'll catch up when the runt feels better."

"I'm okay, really," the puppy repeated himself. Hige fought the urge to roll his eyes. His determination was cute at first, but enough was enough. The fact that he hadn't reacted to being called a runt was sufficient proof that something was wrong.

"I know," Kiba answered patiently, "But stay with Tsume and Hige anyway, alright?"

Toboe blinked at him. He was getting too tired to protest. Kiba glanced at Hige once more – _don't do anything stupid_ – and then left. His footfalls were heavy and fast, rapidly putting distance between them.

Hige watched him go, hating to let him out of his sight. When he could no longer see the white blur on the horizon, he turned back to the others.

"Toboe? Are you gonna be sick?"

* * *

><p>Toboe, in his wolf form, lay with his head in Tsume's lap. The grey wolf had almost protested, but apparently thought better of it. Instead, he had shot Hige a death glare – <em>one word, and I kill you<em> – and then ignored his presence. Hige tried not to stare as the normally callous wolf gently stroked the shivering puppy's head.

He wasn't that sick, was he? A face flashed in his mind's eye, he barely restrained himself from grabbing his head in pain at the memory. What happened to her? Had she sickened and died? He couldn't remember.

He closed his eyes, trying not to think about it. He breathed slowly.

_Don't think. Don't try to remember._

When he opened his eyes again, he scanned the horizon. Nothing. His brow furrowed. What if something had happened? He couldn't bear to lose Kiba too.

_Too? Stupid, Toboe will be fine._

No, he shook his head. The puppy was sick – **so cold, she's not moving**– but he would be alright. As for Kiba, he was invincible, right? He would be fine. In fact, he would be coming over the horizon any – well, there he was.

Hige immediately jumped to his feet. He sniffed the air, straining his eyes to see him as he approached – was he hurt? He couldn't smell any blood, and his coat looked clean. Kiba came to a stop in front of him, his human illusion appearing.

"How is he?" he asked, eyeing Hige like a rabbit he hadn't meant to corner. Was his anxiety really that obvious?

"Worse," Tsume growled, clearly frustrated. Kiba looked between him and the puppy.

"Can you move him?"

Tsume answered by gently pushing the puppy out of his lap, waking him.

"Come on, runt. Get up," he said gruffly as he stood, offering a hand. After a moment, a human boy appeared and accepted the hand. Tsume yanked him to his feet and scooped him up effortlessly.

_Probably weighs less than a feather,_ Hige mused. The puppy didn't protest, which only served to increase his anxiety. Something was really wrong if Toboe wasn't worried about burdening Tsume. Then he coughed, and – **oh God, so much blood** – Hige thought he saw specks of red.

"Hige?" Kiba was looking at him like that again – like he was a frightened, cornered animal. He blinked, realizing that he must have spaced out. Had that been his imagination? Kiba frowned at him, but didn't comment, turning away.

Hige followed. When he grabbed his alpha's hand, no one said anything. Tsume was distracted with Toboe, and Kiba…he just glanced back at him mildly. His face didn't show much emotion, but he squeezed his hand reassuringly.

* * *

><p>"Hige?" he jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He whirled to see Kiba, staring at him like he half-expected him to bolt at any moment.<p>

"Oh, h-hey, Kiba," he greeted.

"What's wrong?" the white wolf asked, sitting next to him. He looked away from him then, gazing upwards towards the sky. Hige followed his gaze, finding it set on the stars.

"Nothing," he tried to brush it off, "The sky looks pretty tonight."

"It does. Now tell me what's wrong." Why did Kiba have to choose _now_ to be so observant? Why couldn't he be this perceptive when Hige was flirting with him? But there was no arguing with his alpha when he was like this, so he gave in, with a heavy sigh.

"It's really nothing," he said softly, "I was just remembering something."

"And it upset you?" Kiba sounded confused, but he could hear the genuine worry in his voice. It made him pause. Maybe he didn't need to push him away. Maybe he could help.

"Yeah. I've been trying to remember what happened to my pack," he admitted, very quietly, "How I got separated from them. But I don't know. I don't remember."

Kiba turned, frowning.

"What do you mean you don't remember?" he demanded.

"Every time I try to remember, all I see is black, and all I hear is someone screaming," Hige stared at the ground. His hands trembled uncontrollably at his sides. He remembered a pack - his mother, his siblings - but he couldn't remember what happened to them, no matter how hard he tried. There was nothing, just flashes of horror and an overwhelming sense of loss. There was a gaping hole in his memory, and it hurt when he tried to peer into the abyss. The little that he could see in the emptiness was terrifying.

He could feel Kiba's eyes on him, but his alpha must have understood, because he finally sighed, opening his arms.

"Come here," he murmured. Hige obeyed eagerly, scooting over and almost falling into him. Kiba hugged him as the slightly taller wolf rested his chin on his shoulder.

"Sometimes we block out things we don't want to remember," he said softly, "Maybe it's for the best."

"I don't know what happened to them," Hige whimpered. His alpha's arms tightened around him. Silence reigned.

"Tell me about them," he finally said. Hige blinked, surprised by the inquiry. He considered for a moment.

"They...looked like me," he replied slowly, closing his eyes to picture them, "My sister liked to joke around."

"Sounds like someone else I know," Kiba teased, and Hige couldn't help but return the smile he heard in his voice.

"It was nice. I could always go to her, even when everyone else was angry. And my mother...she was strict. But she was always warm. Kind. And..." Hige froze, going stiff.

"What's wrong?" the white wolf asked.

"I don't remember their names."

He felt Kiba's surprise.

"Hige..." he didn't know what to say.

"That's horrible, isn't it?" Hige asked, in a strangled whisper, "I can't remember even one of their names. A mother, two sisters and two brothers, and I don't remember any of their names."

He tried to pull out of Kiba's embrace.

"I'm horrible," he laughed bitterly. Kiba didn't let go.

"Do you miss them?" his voice was hardly more than a whisper. Hige considered.

"I...I don't know. I should, shouldn't I?"

Kiba suddenly moved then, grabbing Hige by the shoulders and pushing him away. He held him there firmly. Hige stared at the ground, ashamed.

"Look at me," Kiba demanded. He obeyed reluctantly. His own crimson eyes widened when he saw Kiba's. His eyes were aqua, as calm and warm as the ocean on a summer morning (1).

"You're not horrible. Not at all," he said gently, "However you feel is okay." (2)

Hige stared at him. Kiba sighed, suddenly tugging and pushing until the other wolf found himself in his lap. He blinked up at him, rather surprised by the action. His alpha looked down at him with a fond almost-smile, absently playing with his sandy hair. Hige relaxed. It was surprisingly comforting to feel Kiba's fingers moving against his scalp.

"Kiba?" he whispered, after some time had passed.

"What?"

His voice was suddenly very small and unsure as he asked the question that had brought them to this in the first place.

"Toboe isn't going to die, is he?"

Kiba froze, his blue eyes widening.

"No, of course not."

"And you?"

"What about me?" his voice was wary, in an I-doubt-your-sanity kind of way.

"Will you...will you promise not to die?"

Kiba just stared at him. He finally began moving his fingers again, and his voice was firm when he responded.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, Hige."

And they stayed there, just like that, for the rest of the night.

_I need you._

_I'm here._

* * *

><p>(1) Is the ocean calm on summer mornings? I'm just guessing. I don't go to the ocean much.<p>

(2) Grey's Anatomy quote. Meredith, Season 8, Episode 20.

I hope that made up for the long wait between Chapters 4 and 5!

I'm thinking of writing a multichapter fic about Hige and Kiba that would involve both of their backstories. Ghosts of the past, so to speak. Hm…actually, that might not be a bad title. Anyway, would love to know what y'all think. Of this chapter and that idea. :)

Chapter 7 is almost done, but this next week is gonna be kind of crazy, so it might not be posted until the week after. We'll see. I'll try to post next week, but no promises.


	7. Porcupine

Disclaimer: I do not own Wolf's Rain and am not making any profit from this writing.

Summary: Hige learns the hard way that porcupines are dangerous. Kiba reluctantly reveals his past, and just why he hates dogs so much.

Because it struck me that Hige probably hasn't had much experience with the "natural" world. And I've always wondered why Kiba hated dogs so much.

* * *

><p>The pack was passing through a dense forest when Hige caught an interesting scent nearby. Tsume and Kiba had slowed their pace out of consideration for the other wolves, who had less experience with "the wild" and still found the woods entertaining.<p>

The brown wolf quickly found the source of the scent – a strange little animal with long spines on its back. He batted at it with his paw, more curious than hungry. He would eat it, of course, but first he wanted to see what it…

He suddenly yelped, immediately dropping to the ground and covering his snout with his paws. The animal skittered away as the other wolves looked on. Kiba turned around slowly. He had a feeling he already knew what had happened. As usual, he was right.

"Are you alright, Hige?" Toboe asked worriedly. He didn't answer; he was busy going cross-eyed trying to look at his nose. Tsume rolled his eyes.

"Well, don't play with porcupines, stupid," he said. Kiba walked over to the tawny wolf and crouched in front of him.

"Hige. Let me see your face."

He hated to remove his paws and leave his hurting face unprotected, but he trusted the white wolf, so he reluctantly obeyed. Kiba blinked.

"Wow. That's…more quills than I expected."

Hige whined.

"Shh, it's okay," he reassured him, "Hold still."

Hige yelped again as he pulled the first quill out.

"Sorry," Kiba frowned, but didn't hesitate before grabbing the next. Hige expected the pain this time and didn't cry out, much to the white wolf's relief.

"What happened?" Toboe asked, looking at Tsume.

"Isn't it obvious? Porky lost a fight with the porcupine."

"Tsume," Kiba warned, not bothering to turn around. The grey wolf scoffed, but he didn't comment further.

"We'll go on ahead," he said, obviously annoyed. He hated being ordered around, and besides, he didn't need the runt getting any dumb ideas from Hige.

"Fine," Kiba answered.

"Wasn't asking your permission," they heard him mutter under his breath as he ran off.

"Tsume, wait!" Toboe cried, looking back at the other wolves, "Are you sure you're –"

"Yeah. Go on, we'll find you."

The puppy nodded in agreement before chasing after Tsume.

"Are you going to ask –" Hige started, but Kiba cut him off.

"Don't move. You don't have to tell me."

"What if I wanted to?" he mumbled. Kiba growled low in his throat.

"Shut up, Hige," he sounded more exasperated than anything else.

A few minutes of complete and total silence later, he had finally gotten all of the quills out of his face. He sat, gently brushing the stocky wolf's snout with his hand.

"What did you want to tell me?" he asked calmly.

Hige wrinkled his nose, blinking.

"It still hurts," he mumbled.

"Well, you won't try to hunt porcupines again, right?"

"Does that happen _every_ time?" he whined. Kiba almost smiled.

"I've never seen anyone try it _twice_," he answered, "The smart ones usually don't try at all."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Hige complained. The white wolf looked at him innocently.

"Nothing at all."

The tawny wolf sat up and swatted at his head. Kiba ducked, but he saw something shift in his blue eyes. Hige stood on all fours, nudging his shoulder. The wolf turned human watched him carefully.

He backed away, dropping into a bow. Kiba stayed still.

"Weren't you just whining about your nose?" he asked.

So he did understand. Hige had wondered, for a moment there.

"So?" he retorted, wagging his tail. He saw the dark-haired boy roll his eyes briefly before he disappeared, replaced by an impressive white wolf.

His stance was a little off, more defensive than playful, but his hackles stayed down and he didn't growl. Hige lunged.

It quickly became clear that Kiba either wasn't used to wrestling at all, or wasn't used to wrestling with someone near his own size and strength.

"Uh, you know you're not going to hurt me, right?" Hige asked, after successfully pinning the other wolf down a second time.

"I…yeah, of course," Kiba answered hesitantly.

"Then come _on._ Is that all you've got?" he taunted. The white wolf stared at him, seemingly in the midst of some internal struggle, before his yellow eyes narrowed and he wriggled away. When he came at Hige again, there was something different in his movements. He looked almost…dangerous.

Not that Hige was complaining. This was _much_ more interesting than Kiba acting like his opponent might break at the slightest touch.

"Who did _you_ learn to play with, a kitten?" he asked, when Kiba had pinned him and he gave up struggling. He was too tired anyway.

"No," Kiba saw his skeptical look, "Human children, mostly. But that was a long time ago. I stopped when I was old enough to hurt them."

"Is there some reason…_oh._"

Suddenly, it all made sense. Why Kiba insisted that he wasn't their alpha, why he insisted they didn't need one. Why he didn't know how to play, and why he didn't know what to do with Toboe.

He had been raised in a pack of wolves. He had been raised in a pack of humans.

All of his strange social behaviors could be explained by that simple fact. He just didn't know any better.

But it made the question of why he hated humans, and everything related to them, more confusing. Shouldn't he like them, like Toboe?

Unless…

"Did they hurt you?" Hige demanded. Kiba blinked.

"What?"

"The humans. Is that why you hate them? You were abused?"

"_What?_" he stared at him, "No!"

Until now, Kiba had still been standing over him. He got off of him. Hige rolled a little so that he was lying on his side instead of submissive on his back, but made no move to get up. He looked up at him, hiding his concern behind calm amber eyes.

"What gave you that idea?" he asked.

"Well, I just thought, you should like them, right? If they raised you? But you hate them, so I figured they must have hit you or something…"

"I…no. And I don't _hate_ them. I think they're annoying."

"Oh," that didn't totally satisfy his curiosity, but he decided to let it go for now, "Okay, what about dogs? Is that like a jealousy thing?"

"_No,_ it's not a _jealousy_ thing," he scoffed.

"Then what is it?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he said stubbornly, looking away.

"Kiba…"

He ignored him.

"Ki-_ba_…" Hige whined.

Silence.

"Oh, come on," he pouted, "Just tell me. It's not like I'm gonna judge you for it. I'm just curious."

"Why do you want to know so badly?" the white wolf snapped.

"Because I want to know everything about you?" he tried. Internally, he applauded himself, because he could _see_ Kiba cave at that. His alpha still wouldn't look at him, but his posture changed, he slumped slightly as he let down his defenses.

"I found a puppy," he said quietly, "Well, I kind of stole it, actually. The…owner…was beating it, so I killed him."

"Of course you did," Hige muttered under his breath. Kiba pretended not to notice, but he detected a brief glint of amusement in those eyes.

"I took the puppy home, convinced them to raise it. The chief's daughter adored him. She named him Ahanu – _he laughs_," he whispered, "We did everything together. But then…dogs age faster than we do. He grew up. And he was so loyal to the humans. He would have done anything for them…he finally died protecting them."

Hige cringed. _Now_ he understood.

"Menawa…the chief's son…he _left_ him there. Ahanu was hurt protecting him, and he just left him to die. I found him, but it was too late to save him."

"Kiba," he said softly.

"He wasn't _worth_ protecting," the white wolf snarled viciously, "He shouldn't have saved him. He should have stayed home, like I _told_ him to…"

He stopped, trembling with rage. Hige curled around him.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked," he murmured.

"It's fine," Kiba answered tightly. Hige tucked his head under his chin, still apologetic. Pressed against him, he could feel how taunt his muscles were. He hated knowing that Kiba was so stressed, but he knew there was little he could do except try to get him to relax again. Both were quiet for a while, one trying to calm down and the other waiting. Hige was genuinely sorry for upsetting his alpha, but he was, in a way, glad that he had asked - at least now he knew. He couldn't be much help when he didn't know what the problem was. For now, he was content to listen to the other wolf's slowing heartbeat as he relaxed.

"Why didn't you know about porcupines?" Kiba asked, eventually.

He blinked, startled by the query. He angled his head back a little awkwardly to look up at his alpha.

"I'm not really the outdoors type," he said after a moment.

"You're a wolf."

If Kiba had been in human form, he surely would have been rolling his eyes.

"So? I just happen to be more civilized than you are," the stocky wolf teased gently.

"And the downside of that is that you have the survival skills of a poodle."

"How do you know what a poodle is?"

Kiba opened his mouth to respond, but Hige suddenly had a flash of insight.

"Wait, don't answer that. If you killed some poor little girl's pet, I don't wanna know."

Amusement danced in his alpha's yellow eyes.

"You're horrible," he accused, though inwardly he rejoiced. He was glad to see Kiba content again, even if he had only suppressed his pain instead of dealing with it this time.

And he was reasonably sure Kiba hadn't _actually_ killed a defenseless poodle. Probably.

* * *

><p>Ahhh, I'm really really not happy with the ending. (Actually, with the chapter in general, but the ending especially.) But it's just not coming together, so I figured I would post and see what everyone thinks. If you have any suggestions as to how to make it less sucky, please let me know.<p>

I got the idea for Ahanu from Episode 9. You know the scene where Blue is seriously hurt and Quent freaking _walks away?_ That was the hardest scene for me to watch. Like, your dog is _that_ wounded, and you just _leave_ her? Come on! I wouldn't leave a _stray_ like that, much less my own dog. How could you leave your own dog? Ugh. Stupid poo-head. (…Yeah, I'm really mature, I know.)

Ahanu = He laughs

Menawa = great warrior (it's ironic, see?)

Both are Native American names (according to the website).


	8. Call Me Maybe

Disclaimer: I do not own Wolf's Rain and am not making any profit from this writing.

Finally posting this, wrote it for a request a while back…months ago now. Namna-dono, if you're still reading, I hope you like it!

Chapter 8: Here's my number, so call me maybe.

* * *

><p>There was a girl walking in front of Hige. She had short pink hair, with an equally short stature. Shorter than he liked, admittedly, but she did have a lovely hourglass figure.<p>

"Hey," he called lightly, "You, with the pink hair."

The girl turned, her lips turned up in a soft, effortless smile. He could tell she was the type that smiled often. She looked sweet. Sweet really wasn't his type. But it could be fun to talk her up, just for a minute. He promised himself that he wouldn't lead her on; she looked too fragile for that.

"Yes?" she asked, and he found that he was right, her voice was sugar-sweet, "May I help you?"

"Not really, I guess," but he grinned at her, defying his words, "I just happened to see this really cute girl in front of me. Know her?"

Her brow furrowed, obviously confused. Okay, not his best pickup line, clearly.

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?" he tried. That was better - cliche, but it often worked. The girl's eyebrows shot up, now she understood.

"Um..." she didn't know how to respond, he could tell. That was just the effect he had on people sometimes. He chalked it up to his natural charm.

"Cheza!" a distinctly male voice barked.

Well, shit, he thought, turning to face the speaker.

Double shit.

He stared at the dark-haired boy walking quickly towards them. His lips were drawn into a thin line, and he was glaring at Hige like he thought he might eat the girl.

But he was so gorgeous. Hige forgot the girl standing next to him.

"Did it hurt when -" he began automatically, but the guy cut him off.

"Really? You can't do any better than that?" he snapped. He extended a hand to the girl, which she gratefully took.

"Kiba, this is my new friend, um..." she attempted to diffuse the situation.

"Hige."

"Right," she smiled at him, though it looked forced this time, "Hige, this is my older brother, Kiba."

"Kiba..." he rolled the name around on his tongue. He liked the feel of it. The other boy glowered at him.

"Right. Nice to meet you," the words were obviously for his sister's benefit, because his icy blue eyes told him they weren't for Hige's, "Let's go, Cheza."

He started to pull her away. Hige noted that he was gentle with her, careful not to take his fury out on her. Most brothers wouldn't be so kind. It was sweet.

"Kiba, wait," the girl said suddenly, looking up at him pleadingly. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"I forgot my textbook," she explained. He frowned a little at her.

"How did that happen? You aren't usually so careless."

She smiled up at him, genuine this time.

"Sorry!" she said, before turning on her heel and running off, calling over her shoulder, "I'll be right back, I promise!"

Kiba rolled his eyes, sighing. He turned back to Hige, dark scowl firmly in place.

"I've heard about you," he said coldly, "Stay away from my sister."

Hige had half a mind to say something about that. If he had still been thinking about the girl, he might have. Something like, "she's not your property, so I don't think you have any say." But he didn't care about that anymore.

"Can I have directions?" he asked instead. Kiba's scowl disappeared, replaced with a puzzled look.

"To where?"

"Your heart."

The scowl was back.

Dammit, why is he so difficult? Hige thought, frustrated. Fine. He wouldn't give up so easily. He wasn't stupid, he knew Cheza hadn't forgotten a book. It had been too convenient, and besides, he had seen the way she looked between him and her brother. She had given him an opening. Which meant two things.

One - Kiba was gay. Or bisexual, like Hige. Either way, he was into guys. At least, Cheza believed he was into guys. Why would she set them up otherwise?

Two - he was single.

In other words, Hige had been given a golden opportunity. A gorgeous guy had been practically handed to him on a silver platter by Fate and Cheza.

Cheza was officially his new favorite person.

"There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look."

"This isn't funny."

Hige could do this all day, if he had to. He rattled through all the lines he knew. One of them had to work. He swore he would try every last one until one worked.

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

"You didn't walk by. You haven't moved at all – but you will. If you want to keep living."

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together." That was cute, right? Totally cute!

_Chicks dig that one!_ He cheered internally. But he forgot one thing, he realized as Kiba clenched his fists.

_He's not a chick. I'm such an idiot._

Hige nearly groaned out loud. Come on!

"There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it."

"I'm gonna go look for Cheza."

"Do you even know where her class is?" Hige asked, flabbergasted.

"Doesn't matter."

"If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?" he shouted after him. He debated with himself. Should he follow? It wasn't stalking if it was encouraged, right?

Okay, so Kiba had discouraged him, but his sister had encouraged him. What was the difference, really?

He chased after him.

"I don't know you, but I think I love you already."

"You're making me uncomfortable."

_Success!_

Hige fell silent. Kiba looked over his shoulder at him after a few minutes, and then turned away quickly, because the other boy was _beaming._ He finally sighed.

"Do you know where the Chemistry building is?" he asked.

"C'mon, I'll show you." Hige grabbed his hand before he could protest and took off running, pulling Kiba along behind him.

"What the hell?" he snapped, "What's _wrong_ with you?"

He sounded irritated, but he didn't pull away, even though Hige got the distinct feeling that Kiba could easily outrun him, if he wanted to. He looked pretty athletic.

"So…Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?" he asked cheerfully.

Kiba groaned.

"Not this again."

"No, not that one? Okay, how about this…Your eyes are blue, like the ocean."

He was rewarded with a blush.

"And baby, I'm lost at sea."

"Oh, for the love of – I almost wish you would go back to hitting on Cheza," Kiba glowered. But the blush still remained on his cheeks.

So pick up lines that sounded personalized – even if they actually weren't – worked better than the more generic ones. Hige filed that knowledge away for future use.

"I'm not going to do that. Your sister's pretty, but she's really not my type."

"What makes you think I'm even gay?" Kiba snapped. Hige raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I don't see you denying it," he answered calmly, before pointing with his free hand, "Your sister is over there."

Sure enough, Cheza was striding towards them confidently. She looked between the two of them curiously as Kiba yanked his hand away. Hige subtly shook his head at her.

"We have to go soon, but Hige, let me borrow your phone first," she said, smiling sweetly. He handed it over obediently. If he could get her number, it would put him one step closer to her brother.

Kiba frowned at the exchange, but he didn't say anything. He apparently knew to choose his battles carefully.

Cheza handed the phone back after a moment, still smiling. Hige glanced down at it, and his eyes bugged out.

The contact clearly read "Kiba." He looked up at her, opening his mouth to say something. She winked at him.

_I love this chick_, he thought dreamily. Such a shame she wasn't his type; she was incredibly nice. But she made an excellent wingwoman, even if she couldn't be his girlfriend.

"Thanks," he smirked at her. She giggled.

"Call me!" she called back over her shoulder as she pulled Kiba away.

"Will do!"

XXX

"Cheza!" Kiba shouted. The pink-haired girl poked her head into his room hardly a moment later, leaving him to wonder what she had been doing hanging around outside his door. He wisely chose not to comment.

"Yes?" she asked innocently.

"Did you give Hige my number on purpose?" he demanded.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," she said sweetly. He pressed his lips into a thin line.

"Cheza," was all he said. She sighed. She looked down at her feet for a moment, biting her lip. Then she looked back up at him, her hazel eyes earnest.

"I'm sorry, Kiba," she said, walking over and sitting on the bed next to him. She dropped her head onto his shoulder. He instinctively wrapped an arm around her small form, but he didn't say anything.

"You just seem so lonely lately," she continued, her voice soft, "And he seemed nice. He really likes you."

Kiba grimaced.

"I don't think that's it. You should see the texts he's been sending me."

"Well, let me see them, then," she replied. He hesitated, but finally passed the phone to her. She scrolled through them, her eyebrows raising.

"'If you were a booger, I'd pick you?' That's goofy, but not awful."

"That one doesn't bother me as much as some of the others," he answered.

"'If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.' Aw. That's cute! What makes you think he doesn't like you?"

Kiba shook his head, feeling exasperated. How could he explain that he didn't want to be some stupid womanizer's joke?

"'Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?'" she laughed as she read aloud. He didn't. He grabbed the phone back, blushing furiously. Cheza just smiled at him softly, never lifting her head from its position on his shoulder.

"I think we should play his game," she suggested.

"What do you mean?" he was almost afraid to ask.

"Give me your phone again."

She texted him back, then returned the phone.

"'Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?' What are you doing? Are you encouraging him?"

His phone vibrated and lit up with a new text.

"What does it say?" his sister asked eagerly.

"It says, 'Hi, Cheza.'"

"Oh. I guess he's onto me. Rats…"

While she was thinking, the phone lit up again. Kiba turned flaming red when he read the text message.

"What is it?" Cheza asked curiously, seeing his reaction.

"N-nothing," he stammered. So, naturally, she did what any good sister would do: she tackled him. She stole the phone away with some difficulty (he told himself that it was _only_ because he didn't want to hurt her).

It read: "Kiba – Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it."

She didn't say anything, just handed the phone back to him silently. She was trying not to smile.

"I love you," she said, abruptly standing up, "I'll let you work on this. I'll be in my room if you need me."

He nodded, grimacing.

_What do I have to do to get you to stop?_ He texted back.

_Go out with me._

* * *

><p>All pickup lines came from Pick Up Lines Galore. If you couldn't tell from the title, I wrote the whole thing while listening to "Call Me Maybe" on a loop. Such a catchy song!<p>

I may actually continue this in another chapter…only if people want. :)

And yeah, I'm back. I apologize for my ridiculously long hiatus, trust me, it was no picnic. I'll be updating fairly regularly again – any requests? Feel free to leave them in a review or message me. 3


	9. Shot in the Dark

Disclaimer: I do not own Wolf's Rain and am not making any profit from this writing.

Saiya – They're freaking _brilliant_ suggestions. :D Here's story #1, hope you like it!

Chapter 9: I would die for you...

* * *

><p>It seemed to happen in slow-motion.<p>

He heard the warning, knew what it meant immediately. He spun, prepared to leap at the hunter and wrestle his gun away, already anticipating the strike of his bullet. It wouldn't be the first time he had been shot, and it wouldn't be the last. The prospect of a gunshot wound didn't phase him in the least.

He expected pain – in his leg, perhaps in his chest. But not here, not like this. He swallowed, frozen stock-still, his heart pounding in his ears. Red was blossoming in his vision.

_Like a stuck pig. I never understood what that meant before…now I think I know. There's so much blood, should there be that much blood? It's a bullet – it's so tiny, just a little piece of lead, it shouldn't do that much damage._

There were still bullets flying, he absently noted the sharp sting as one grazed his shoulder. He should have been running, or flying at their opponents like the speed of light and killing machine he was – but he stood still. Hell, _time_ stood still. This wasn't possible, he couldn't comprehend what was happening here.

"_Hige!_" Toboe's shrill cry snapped him out of his trance. Suddenly hyper-aware of his situation, he lunged, leaping over his fallen friend with a ferocious snarl. The man stumbled back, gun held high. He was afraid.

Kiba felt a rush of malicious glee. Usually, he went straight for the hunters' necks and killed them – quickly, efficiently, and relatively painlessly. There were worse deaths to be had than in his powerful jaws. And oh, how he knew that.

He grabbed the man's leg, yanking him down. The man yelled in fear as he climbed over him, his massive paws on either side of the man's head. He couldn't care less about his gun at this point, the idiot's hands were shaking too badly to pull the trigger anyway. For a moment, he just stood there, staring into the man's terrified brown eyes.

"I'm sorry," the man stammered. Kiba leaned down, nudged his head as a curious puppy might.

"Easy, boy, that's a nice –"

Later, when they asked, he would say he didn't know what had come over him. But he knew – it was a terrible, bloodthirsty rage. How dare he do that to Hige? He…

"Kiba!" that was Hige's voice, "He's dead already!"

He stepped away from the body, licking his lips, dimly aware that his muzzle was covered in blood.

_Blood, blood, blood…so much blood._

He took a moment to calm himself, before turning to his fallen friend again.

"Sorry," a voice that was not his own, that was filled with ice and the promise of malice such as he had never known, spoke, "Got distracted. This will only take a minute, I promise."

Let it never be said that Kiba broke his promises. In the next ten seconds, the man in front of them, aiming his gun at Hige to finish the job, had dropped to the ground, dead. In thirty, the man next to him was down. And in sixty, five corpses littered the ground.

"If you're done with your killing spree, we should get out of here," Tsume's unaffected voice came from behind him.

_Killing spree? I was just getting started._ He breathed out slowly, looked at the scene in front of him. _I killed those people…they had it coming…it was unnecessary…they hurt Hige…_

He shook his head furiously. Damn them all, a few months ago, he wouldn't have thought twice about killing a whole _troop_ of humans. It was all Hige's fault for insisting that they weren't all bad and they deserved "mercy," whatever the hell that meant.

"You're an idiot," he voiced his thoughts to Hige. There was no heat, no anger in his words; it was just a statement of fact. The sky was blue, and so Hige was an idiot. That was just how the world worked.

"Y-yeah?"

"Yeah. Come on, up," suddenly human (and when had he dropped his illusion? He couldn't even remember), he took his arm and tugged him to his feet. Was that _blood_ at the corner of his lips?

"Tsume, Toboe," the puppy was pointedly refusing to look at him, "Go, we'll be right behind you."

Tsume looked doubtful, but he wisely kept his mouth shut (for once). The pair dropped their illusions and bolted, the puppy urged on by the elder nipping at his heels. He looked back over his shoulder at them once, but Tsume gave a sharp bite to his tail, so he squeaked and turned back.

Kiba trusted they wouldn't go far. Tsume would get the puppy out of shooting range, and stay there. He just had to get Hige away before the rest of Jagara's men came (he could see the tanks coming, bringing reinforcements), and they would be fine. It didn't matter how much the tawny wolf was bleeding right now; he would be _fine_.

Of course, that assumed Hige could actually run. But he would have to, because Kiba couldn't carry him, and he sure as hell wasn't leaving him behind. Kiba gripped his hand firmly and just ran, effectively dragging the other wolf behind him. He thanked the stars above that Hige didn't complain, didn't stumble and falter in his steps.

Until he himself stumbled, and looked back to see what had happened. The other wolf had dropped…he was lying still on the ground, his hand still tightly clutched in Kiba's own.

_Dammit._ Kiba didn't have much medical knowledge, but he knew enough to guess that that he had fainted from blood loss. _Okay. I can do this._ He rolled Hige over on his back, and gently pulled his hood up over his head – before dropping his illusion to grasp the thick fabric in his jaws.

_I feel like this hasn't been washed in a very, very long time,_ he noticed somewhere in the back of his mind, as he dragged the wolf backwards. This was officially his dumbest plan yet, but he did his best not to puncture the hood of his friend's shirt and drop him.

He found a fox den, and he wasn't really sure how he managed to get them both inside. Somehow, though, a few minutes later, he was lying in a hole, curling around Hige protectively. He prayed to a god he didn't believe in that the soldiers didn't think to look in the hole.

"Kiba?" Hige breathed, after a short while. He seemed dazed. Still, Kiba was relieved to hear his voice, and he nuzzled against his neck affectionately.

"I'm here," he reassured softly. The tawny wolf leaned back into him…seeking warmth or comfort, he didn't know.

"The soldiers are right outside, aren't they?" he whispered. Kiba had a lot of experience hiding his reaction, his so-called "feelings" (ohhh, Toboe, how naïve), so the only sign of his surprise was a slight widening of his yellow eyes, and fortunately Hige wasn't looking at him.

"You're gonna be okay," he promised, his voice level and calm, "They won't look here."

"You don't know that," he sounded sad, a little worried, but mostly sad, and resigned. Kiba dropped his voice to the low, gentle murmur he remembered his own siblings using, many years ago, when he ran to them for reassurance.

"They won't look here," he repeated, "Just close your eyes, they won't come."

"Kiba…"

"Don't. I don't want to hear it. Close your eyes, they're not coming."

_I'm not leaving. Close your eyes, I don't want you to be scared._ He kept telling himself they wouldn't come, they wouldn't look here. He hoped against hope that he was right. But if he was wrong…he didn't want Hige to see them. If this was the end, he didn't want his last moments to be filled with fear.

Hige finally settled. Kiba quietly cleaned his ear, waiting and hoping for the danger to pass. He marked the passage of time in the other wolf's steady, shallow breaths.

_One. Two. Three. Still alive. Four. Five. Six. Alive. Seven. Eight...Nine?_

* * *

><p>Bwahahahaha! Yes, I know, I'm evil. ;-)<p>

Sorry, loves. But not to worry, this will be continued in the next chapter…you can expect an update, like, tomorrow. I'm on a roll.


	10. Breathe For Me

Disclaimer: I do not own Wolf's Rain and am not making any profit from this writing.

Note - unlike the other chapters, this is not a standalone piece, it is a continuation of the previous chapter. So if you haven't read Chapter 9 yet, please go back and read that now.

Chapter 10: I feel you fading away…

* * *

><p>On breath four hundred and thirty-six, Kiba dared to think the humans had moved on. Warily, he pulled away from Hige, careful not to wake him, and peeked his head out of the foxhole. The scent of humans and machinery lingered, but he didn't smell anyone here <em>now<em>. He figured that was as good as they were going to get. If they waited any longer, they risked the humans coming back – and he really wanted to get back to the others before Hige bled to death, thank you very much. He was beginning to realize he didn't know batshit about…well, any of this. No one had ever patched him up, and he had never had anyone he cared about, not like this, so this was all new to him.

Gently, he dragged Hige back out of the hole. Breath seven hundred and eighty-one found them in a cave that smelled distinctly of bear. He really hoped Tsume knew what he was doing, because it would _suck_ if that bear came back anytime soon.

"Took you long enough," the grey wolf commented drily, but there was a slight edge to it that told Kiba he was worried.

"Sorry," he really wasn't, he couldn't bring himself to care, but it seemed like the polite, expected response. Ever so carefully, he laid Hige on the smooth cave floor and turned to look over his packmates. A cursory glance told him they were both fine, though Toboe still refused to look at him.

Dammit, what would Hige say in this situation? He would…he would brush it off, he would try to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal. …Kiba wasn't Hige.

"Toboe," he sighed softly, "I'm sorry you had to see that, back there. It was…I shouldn't have done it in front of you."

He didn't say he shouldn't have done it. Just that he shouldn't have done it in front of _Toboe_. Tsume's faint, cold smirk told him the grey wolf noted the difference. Toboe slowly looked up at him, amber eyes wary in a way he had never seen them before. If the circumstances where different, he might have been proud – finally, the puppy was looking at another wolf as a _threat_. But the still form in front of him drew his thoughts elsewhere, dreading what the other wolf would think.

Hige would be horrified. He wanted Toboe to stay innocent as long as possible, and more importantly, he wanted the puppy to trust them. Kiba had never cared what anyone thought of his actions…but Hige was different. His opinion _mattered_ in a way that no one else's ever had.

He took a deep breath, and made a conscious effort to ignore the puppy. If Hige lost any more blood, the tawny wolf's _opinion_ was going to be the least of Kiba's concerns. He looked to Tsume for direction, because, hell, what did he know about human weapons? Hardly anything.

"Did it pass through?" the grey wolf asked calmly. Kiba blinked dumbly, and he sighed, closing his eyes in aggravation as he clarified, "Is there an exit wound?"

"Oh." He called his human illusion back once again and knelt in front of the other wolf-turned-boy. Gently, he turned him over. His shirt was soaked with blood, but he couldn't see a hole.

_Dammit_. He wasn't panicking, that was beneath him. He wasn't…he wasn't scared; he was _pissed off_. He briefly entertained the thought of going back and taking revenge on the soldiers as he tried to pull Hige's shirt off without hurting him. The other wolf was unconscious now, but he could wake up any moment, just as he had before. The last thing he needed was for Hige to panic and hurt himself further.

Once the shirt was gone, he got a better look at the damage. His initial observation was confirmed, there was no exit wound. The entry wound, however, was obvious. It was unlike anything he had ever seen.

"Tsume," he said softly, "I think you should look at this."

The grey wolf must have understood the graveness of his tone, because he silently came over and crouched opposite Kiba. He saw his eyes widen in surprise. That didn't bode well.

"W-what is it?" Toboe asked, standing nervously behind his idol, sensing that something was wrong. Tsume was quiet for a moment.

"The bullet was plastic-tipped," he finally said, and then, realizing the others wouldn't understand, "The tip shatters upon impact. It was developed to cause more…extensive wounds than a standard bullet."

Kiba stared at him, his mind racing. He kept coming back to one thing, one weapon that sounded anything like that. It wasn't a pleasant thought.

"Like a barbed arrow?" he asked quietly. Tsume snorted lightly.

"Same basic principle, yeah." _But much more dangerous,_ Kiba heard it as if he had spoken the words aloud.

"So what do we do?" Toboe queried, clenching and unclenching his fists anxiously. Tsume stood, closing his eyes.

"Nothing," he answered. He didn't want to look at them as he said it, but Kiba was no fool. He understood – Tsume was telling them this was fatal. He looked back at Hige's still form.

He looked so small. Curled half on his side, cringing in pain even in his sleep…he was vulnerable. Kiba hated it.

He knew less about medicine than Toboe. But if he did _nothing_, Hige was going to die. So nothing he could do now could be worse than doing nothing…that's what he told himself as he rolled the other wolf back onto his back.

The transition between forms was quick, faster than usual. He swiped out with his paw, vaguely noting Toboe's gasp of surprise. His claws were sharp, and when he struck out like this, putting enough force behind the blow to gouge and then drawing his paw down with intent to _tear_, it was almost as though he had used a knife.

_Except a knife would be clean._ This, this was messy, dirty. Then again, what he was about to do wasn't any more sterile. And he didn't know much, but he knew Hige's chances of survival with an infection were greater than his chances of survival with that bullet trapped in his body.

If he went his whole life without sticking his hand in another wolf's stomach ever again, he couldn't say he would miss it.

"Close your eyes," Tsume said suddenly, his voice resigned but firm, "It's hard, you'll feel it."

He obeyed. Slowly, haltingly, he moved his hand forward, trying to be as careful as possible as he felt around for anything out of the ordinary. (He tried not to think about the fact that he was essentially fishing around the wolf's stomach.) It was easier this way, he realized after a moment – he _really_ didn't need to know what he was touching. He froze. _That_ didn't feel like anything familiar. He wiggled his fingers, trying to gauge the size and shape of the object to confirm his suspicions without disturbing anything else.

"I think I found it," he whispered after a moment, as if speaking would break the spell. He heard Tsume take a deep breath. He was as nervous as Kiba.

"Okay," he said slowly, "Take your hand out – _slowly_, Kiba."

Hige stirred. Startled, he jerked his hand. He immediately regretted it, as the tawny wolf woke with a sharp cry, suddenly struggling to get away from him. He tried to hold him down with his free hand, pressing against his chest as hard as he dared.

"Hige! Hige, stop!" Crimson eyes met his own briefly, just long enough for him to see the pain and fear reflected in those wide orbs. "It's me, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Still wriggling, that wild gaze met his own once again, unfocused, darting between his face and the cave wall behind him. Acting on impulse, Kiba leaned forward, capturing the other wolf's lips with his own. He tasted blood. Hige went stiff, eyes meeting his again, surprise and recognition flaring equally.

"Hige," he breathed against his lips, "I know it hurts, but you have to stay still…please."

"I…_god,_ Kiba," Hige gasped out. Kiba kissed him again, shushing him gently.

"I know, I know, I'm so sorry," he whispered urgently. He held Hige's crimson eyes with his own blue ones. "I'm almost done, I swear, please, just hold still."

"Y-yeah," he panted, "No…no problem."

Kiba hovered there, barely inches from his face as he grasped for where he had felt the bullet before. _There._ Hige grunted in pain. "I'm sorry…"

He was extracting his hand slowly, ever so carefully, but he was not so oblivious as to miss the faint noise of the other wolf gritting his teeth. (Trying not to make a sound, trying not to protest, trying to be strong…) Wordlessly, he offered the bullet to Tsume.

"Definitely plastic-tipped," the grey wolf murmured, almost to himself, as he turned it over in his hands.

"Y-you done?" Hige managed weakly.

"Yeah. I'm done," Kiba whispered, as he drew away, reaching up to touch his face with the hand not covered in blood. (He half-heartedly wiped the other on his jeans.) Hige flinched away. Kiba froze, eyes wide, then let his hand fall harmlessly to his side.

"I…" Hige tried to explain, shaking.

"It's okay," he cut him off gently, "I get it."

He really did. Hige had been hurt protecting him, and hell, he had woken up with Kiba's arm nearly elbow-deep in his stomach…he couldn't blame him for being afraid. _All I ever do is hurt the ones around me._

"Kiba…wait," Hige forced out, and he wondered if the tawny wolf had seen something in his eyes, had noticed the flash of hurt there (he thought he hid himself so well), "It's not…like that."

He stared at him. He wasn't sure how to react to that. He certainly didn't want to ask the other wolf to clarify, not when talking was such a struggle for him. Hige seemed to notice his indecision, and turned away slightly, turning his attention elsewhere and giving him a chance to think without eyes on him.

"Runt," he muttered, squinting at Toboe, who stared at him with wide, terrified eyes, "What's…wrong? You look…like you…seen a ghost."

Kiba flinched involuntarily when he smelled salt. Reason number one hundred and one he _didn't_ like puppies. They cried and made everyone around them feel guilty.

"Hige!" he whimpered, lunging towards him. Tsume held an arm out in front of him, restraining him. The puppy looked up at him in dismay.

"Tsume…" he whispered, giving voice to his confusion. The grey wolf shook his head firmly.

"Leave them," the command was soft, so faint that Kiba almost missed it. He looked up at the older wolf and met his eyes. The message there was clear – he didn't think Hige was going to make it, and he didn't want Toboe getting involved and getting his hopes up…or he didn't want Toboe to prolong or worsen Hige's suffering in his attempts to help. That part was less clear. Nonetheless, he inclined his head slightly in acknowledgement.

The response startled him. Tsume raised his eyebrows and, checking that Hige and Toboe weren't looking at him, made a fast, crude motion with his hand. Kiba couldn't help his reaction, he snarled. Hige shifted his crimson gaze to look at him, so he reigned it in, he didn't want to worry him. Still, he leveled Tsume with a furious glare for another moment, long enough to get his point across.

Rationally, he knew the grey wolf was suggesting what he was because, in his own warped way, he did care about Hige. He didn't want him to suffer. But Kiba wasn't feeling particularly rational at the moment, not with the most important figure currently in his life lying on the cave floor gasping in pain whenever he moved. So no, he was _not_ going to tolerate that suggestion. In the back of his mind, he knew he was being selfish, but there was no way in hell he was going to kill Hige. How could he look at it as a mercy killing when it was _Hige_?

He turned his attention back to the injured wolf, confident that Tsume had understood. Hige's red gaze was flicking between him and Tsume, trying to determine what had transpired that he was unaware of. Kiba shook his head, reaching out slowly to cup his face, watching closely for any sign that he didn't want to be touched. Instead, Hige leaned into his touch slightly, meeting his eyes for a long, silent moment. He smiled weakly up at him, a smile he couldn't quite manage to return. A quick glance toward the others showed that Tsume had turned around and was pointedly directing the puppy's attention elsewhere, so Kiba leaned down to press a chaste kiss against his lips again.

"I'm sorry," he breathed, "I'm so sorry."

"Yeah," slowly, Hige brought a single, shaking hand up to clutch at the collar of his jacket, "I know. S'okay. My…choice."

As a rule, Kiba did not cry. Ever. He almost wished he could, just then, so the other wolf would know just how much he meant to him, and how utterly sorry he was. Hige hummed softly, curiously.

"Your eyes are…glassy…Snowflake," he teased gently, his voice shaking and faltering with the strain. At a loss for words, Kiba pressed their lips together again. He felt the other wolf smile slightly.

"If I had….known all it t-took…to get you to k-kiss…me back…was –" Kiba kissed him again, effectively cutting him off.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Said that…already. T-told you –"

"Not about that," Kiba interrupted, swallowing – he had never imagined opening up to anyone like this, but this was Hige, and he was beginning to see that he was always the exception, "For not…you startled me. I didn't…I didn't know how to react."

There was silence for a few painfully long moments, disturbed only by the harsh sounds of the tawny wolf's breathing. Then, finally, he spoke.

"Y-yeah?" he sounded weaker, panting, "Not…surprised…your in…experience…shows, ya know?"

"So teach me," Kiba urged softly, "I can learn."

_I'll do _anything_ if you'll stay._ Hige raised an eyebrow in mild amusement, starting to push himself up from the ground, closer to Kiba, with the hand that wasn't still clutching his collar. With a sudden gasp, he let go and dropped back down, curling into a ball on his side.

Kiba felt terrible. He was trying to help, but he was just hurting him. He considered for a moment, watching Hige lie there shuddering and gasping, obviously struggling to control himself. Then he dropped his human illusion and lied down against his back, curling around him as best he could and gently maneuvering the tawny wolf until Hige's head rested on his neck.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. Hige's only response was to twist his head a bit, burying his face in Kiba's thick white coat, muffling his gasps of pain. "Shhh…it's gonna be okay, shhh…"

Inwardly, though, he acknowledged the doubt creeping in. Tsume was giving him a serious, worried look, clearly telling him this wasn't good. Even in the most irrational part of his mind, Kiba could not deny that it was becoming questionable as to whether Hige would survive the night.

Despite the dark thoughts whispering in his head, he cuddled into the injured wolf and gently licked his neck, desperate to find some way to comfort him, to quiet him. He couldn't take listening to those soft cries (and what was this ache in his chest? Was this what humans meant when they spoke of broken hearts?). Slowly, the other wolf's gasps subsided, and he finally became still as he lay against Kiba.

"Um, K-kiba?" Toboe's voice was soft, hardly more than a whisper. He raised his yellow eyes to look at the puppy, not moving an inch from his position curled protectively around Hige.

"Is he…going to be okay?" he asked anxiously. Kiba broke eye contact. He didn't know how to respond to that. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tsume clench his fist.

"No, he's not," the grey wolf answered coldly. The puppy looked between the two of them, eyes wide and horrified, disbelieving.

"B-but he's…he _has_ to be okay! Kiba took the bullet out, right? Wasn't that what was hurting him?" he pleaded. Kiba was silent. No, no it wasn't just that.

"All that means is that he _might_ be able to heal around the fragments," Tsume retorted, after considering his answer for a moment. Toboe blinked up at him.

"He'll heal! We-we just have to get him into the moonlight, and –"

Kiba was grateful when the puppy cut himself off, looking up at the cave ceiling, apparently realizing what the other wolves had been aware of from the start. Caves were seldom perfectly enclosed, and this was no exception. Moonlight streamed through pockets of light in the ceiling, reflecting against the red-stained floor. Kiba pressed closer into Hige at the thought, fervently wishing there was anything more he could do. At least the bleeding had stopped, the wound finally beginning to clot.

Still, even he knew that the bullet fragments inside of Hige's body weren't particularly conducive to healing. His body would more than likely break them down during the night, but Kiba didn't know what effect the plastic shattered inside him might have before then, or even after. He couldn't imagine it was _good_ to have that floating around in his bloodstream.

"There must be something we can do…" Toboe suggested, but his voice was shaky, and it lacked the conviction it usually held. It was a question, not a statement. Tsume shook his head slightly. Kiba refused to look at them again, focusing on Hige's slow, unsteady breaths instead. If he watched closely, he could see the shallow rise and fall of his chest. The sight combined with the harsh breaths close to his ear reassured him that the tawny wolf was still breathing.

"Kiba…" the puppy was saying quietly. There was something in his voice, something strange and foreign. It took him a moment to place it…pity. He flinched, feeling Hige stir slightly in response.

"Don't," he whispered, "Just…don't."

_Don't say it. Don't say anything, please please please just don't say it._ It was the closest he had ever come to begging. He closed his eyes and tucked his nose as close into the crook of Hige's neck as he could.

He was dimly aware of Tsume drawing the puppy away from them. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was grateful for that. He didn't need anyone else here to witness this.

_Hige…_

He didn't get any sleep that night.

* * *

><p>He came to slowly, blinking sleep from his tired eyes. Where was he? His head was resting against something warm and soft. Confused, he turned slightly, saw the perfect white in his vision.<p>

_Snow? It's out of season…_ Where had they been last? He remembered a wide-open field, and then an expanse of trees before them. No, there was something else in between: he was forgetting something.

_Soldiers_, he realized suddenly. Jagara's soldiers had been there. He remembered the man raising his gun, hearing Toboe's frightened cry of panic. His eyes had widened as he realized who the soldier was aiming for. He saw him turn, those eyes he loved so much narrowed in cold anger.

_No,_ he remembered thinking, _Move…Kiba!_

Then there was pain. He had looked down to see red stains blossoming from his stomach, and then he was down for the count, the object of his thoughts hovering over him, yellow eyes wide with horror.

Everything after that was a blur. He remembered waking in a dark place, Kiba all around him, shushing him, whispering in his ear, 'they won't come,' and he had wondered whether he was trying to convince Hige or himself. Then…agonizing pain, a hand _in his stomach_, prodding at his wound – and that soft, devastated voice in his ear, shiny blue eyes, lips pressing gently against his own, 'teach me,' whispered in desperation.

_Oh, Kiba._ That was all he had time to think, before he heard a not-so-subtle gasp from his right. He twisted slightly to see where it had come from (as if there was any question), unsurprised to see Toboe staring at him with wide, startled amber eyes.

"Hige!" he winced at the puppy's pitch, "You're – you're alive!"

"Yeah," he smiled weakly, "Can't…get rid of me that easily."

Heavens, he still _hurt_. He didn't remember gunshot wounds ever being this painful. But a quick glance down told him his body was healing itself, the external signs of his injury already disappearing. He heard Tsume snort softly, looked up and saw the relief hidden in his eyes.

"Should have known," he said snidely. Hige tried to smirk, knowing it looked more like a grimace.

"I…always…come back. Can't…kill me," he teased. Tsume raised an eyebrow.

"Like a cockroach."

In different circumstances, he would have scowled at that, maybe come up with a rude retort of his own. Right now, though, he could hardly muster the energy to glare at him. Whatever.

Hesitantly, Toboe moved toward him. His lip twitched upwards involuntarily, amused by the puppy's behavior. He made no move, either towards him or away. Apparently Toboe took this as a sign of approval, because a moment later, Hige was blinking in surprise as he closed the space between them.

That red fur, so like his own but just a shade or two darker, was obscuring his vision as the puppy nuzzled against his neck. He stiffened a bit, having not expected the contact, but after a moment, he relaxed, looking at the younger wolf affectionately. He was still too weak to do much, so he just patted the puppy's paw lightly.

"Hey," he murmured, "It's okay. I'm fine. Don't know…what you guys were…so worried about."

Toboe sniffled against him, but finally drew away, shaking his head at him, as if to say 'you'll never change, stupid.' He seemed at a loss for words. Behind him, Tsume looked away awkwardly.

"Thought you wouldn't make it," he admitted, "For a while there. Not that I care."

"Right," Hige tried to think of a witty response, but he was distracted when a wet nose pressed against his neck lightly. With a smile that was weak but genuine, he turned his head slightly, expecting to meet yellow eyes. They were closed.

_Is he…sleeping?_ He started to push himself up on his elbows, ignoring the sharp pain the motion brought. He wanted to get up, possibly because he wanted to get a better look at Kiba while he was sleeping (he was pretty sure he had _never_ seen him asleep before), not that he would admit that out loud.

"What are you doing?" the exasperated voice startled him. He tipped his head back (really, he was half-up, he wasn't going to lay back down and give up his progress!) and saw Kiba watching him, an unreadable look in his yellow eyes. There was something…serious there. It was weird. Kiba's eyes were usually serious and dark, but this was different.

He heard Tsume clear his throat, looked away from Kiba for a moment to see that the grey wolf was tugging Toboe away, looking _extremely_ uncomfortable. He should have laughed, the expression on his face was priceless – but for some reason, right now, it wasn't important. What was important was that those two were leaving, and now they were alone. And Kiba was still _staring_ at him.

Yeah. Okay, now _he_ was uncomfortable. He couldn't figure out what it was about that look, but there was something there, and it was just…undecipherable. He looked away, trying to sit up further.

"Um, I'm just gonna – wow, hello." Kiba was _right_ in his face, breaking his _own_ rules about personal space and _what the hell,_ he was grabbing his collar in his teeth, that was weird and really _not okay_, and…oh. _Oh._

Now he knew why he hadn't been able to read the look in his eyes before, when Kiba was usually like an open book to him. It was _intense_, damn. And the way Kiba was standing this close, holding his collar, forcing him to look at him…he wanted him to see.

_You can't say it,_ he realized. Kiba didn't…Kiba didn't talk about these things. He didn't know how. Hige wasn't even sure if he knew what "love" meant.

Slowly, his eyes softened. He took a moment just to stare into those narrowed yellow eyes, trying to decipher everything he saw there – pain, sorrow, self-loathing, fear… He decided he had seen enough.

"Kiba," he whispered, just to make sure the other wolf knew he was acknowledging him, "It's okay."

It hurt something awful, but he made himself sit up. Kiba let go immediately, taking a step back. Hige swallowed…yeah, he was…fine. For Kiba, he could tolerate the pain.

"Come here," he whispered. The white wolf hesitated, looking him over as if to judge whether he really meant it. Then he was pressed against Hige's chest, hiding his head in the crook of his neck. Hige's eyes softened further. Okay, yeah, this was worth the pain. Kiba was _shaking._

"Kiba…shhh," he murmured in his ear, as he wrapped his arms around him, "It's okay, I'm right here, shhh…"

"I'm sorry," was what he heard, when Kiba finally responded, his voice soft, with just the slightest tremor (and with him, that spoke volumes), "I'm so sorry."

"Shhh, stop it," he chided gently, he didn't need to apologize for what had been Hige's choice, "And stop hiding, sheesh."

He tried to be light about it, but really, he wanted to see Kiba's face. He needed to see his face, if he had any hope of making him understand that it was worth it, and he was okay, he wasn't going anywhere. Slowly, the other wolf drew away, watching him cautiously. Hige smiled a bit in encouragement.

His eyes were so stunningly _blue._ And hey, Hige had an idea. He cupped the back of Kiba's head, drawing him closer, until their lips pressed together.

"It's okay," he whispered against his lips when they moved apart, "No harm done, Snowflake."

Kiba didn't say a word, just closed those stunning eyes and leaned down to press their lips together again, ever so softly. Hige smiled into the kiss. He hadn't been kidding when he said Kiba's inexperience showed. It was cute, he thought, as he gently pressed his tongue against the other wolf's lips. The soft gasp told him Kiba was surprised, but nonetheless, he parted them obligingly.

When they finally drew apart for breath, Hige twisted his fingers in the white wolf's unruly brown locks, tugging gently. Kiba blinked at him. His eyes were still glassy, in that same sad way they had been last night. Now, no longer lost in a haze of pain, Hige knew exactly what those glassy eyes meant. He reached to take Kiba's hand, guiding it to rest against his bare chest, above his heart. The other wolf blinked at him, eyes confused, but trusting.

"Feel that?" he asked quietly. He could see the 'oh' moment in those blue eyes. Kiba nodded slightly. He smiled softly.

"I'm okay," then, gently, he drew the white wolf down to press their lips together again, "We're okay."

If Kiba's breaths were a little ragged, if his eyes were a little glassy, if he smelled just a hint of salt, he wasn't going to say anything. Everyone had to break down once in a while. So he just kissed him, whispering sweet nothings against his lips.

"We're okay," he would repeat those words until he could make Kiba believe them.

_Everything's gonna be alright, rockabye…_

* * *

><p>Wow! Over 4,500 words. :D Done.<p>

I'm assuming you all recognize the last line from Shawn Mullin's Lullaby, it's not mine, obviously. ;-) Also, the gunshot, bullet, etc…my medical knowledge comes from Grey's Anatomy, and I know _nothing_ about guns. I spent like half an hour looking up AK-47s and crap on Wikipedia, then I gave up and figured what the heck, it's a post-apocalyptic world. So, you know, just pretend it makes sense, the important thing is that Hige survived, right? Not that I would _dream_ of killing him, really guys. ;p That's crazy, I love him.


End file.
